Motivations

Motivations

So I have decided to write a blog about my motivations for coming to India. It appears as though many individuals are confused about my reasons for coming to this place so I thought I would clear things up to the best of my ability.

(These motivations will be expanded on below, please not they are listed here and are not meant to be in a hierarchy) Matthew Kent, travel, to expand my own journey towards the sacred and to experience and learn as much as I can from the world around me.

Some people seem to think that I came all the way to India to work with the Missionaries of charity. I apologize if I made this seem like the case because it really is not. Working with the missionaries of charity is something that I have always wanted to do, more I wanted to see the organizations Mother Teresa set up and see the work they do. I got to see the room where Mother Teresa spent all her time in quiet reflection and prayer; it is the same room where she is buried. That was incredibly special and unique. I do believe that wherever one finds themselves they should do what they can, so if that means volunteering then that is very good. So I thought while I am here in Calcutta it would be a good thing for me to volunteer with the sisters of charity. Other people were confused by this because they are a “Christian organization” and I am not “Christian” anymore. This kind of thing always amuses me. If the sisters of charity were proselytizing individuals who believed that no one could work with their organization unless you were a born again believer than NO I could not work with them. The sisters of charity do not care what religion you are, as long as you are willing to help. Mother Teresa’s model was “I would encourage a Hindu to be a better Hindu, a Muslim a better Muslim and a Christian a better Christian”. Why did she say this? Because all of these religions when acted out properly are good and encourage humans to live in a way that is loving (I am not talking about the fundamentalist wings of any of these by the way). Mother Teresa believed in loving the poor, the cast-aways of society and that I DEFINITELY can get behind. Now I have frustrations with charity organizations but I can save those for another blog and another time.

Matt. I came here to have a relationship with Matt. I know to many on-lookers this seems to have been a rather rash and some what risky decision. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But I will say that love is not logical is it? Other than the fact that humans die without it. But on the by and by, there is no logical way to explain and justify the reasons people fall in love or do the things they do when they are compelled by love. Therefore I have stopped needing to justify myself on this one. I love Matt he loves me. That is it, end of story. Does this mean that it will be easy? No. Does this mean it was the best decision? I don’t know, I don’t think decisions should be put into hierarchies but so far it was a very good decision. What if you break up again? So be it. I will be o.k. and so will he. We both have learned and are still learning to find our identities outside of ourselves, our relationship with each other etc… So I really don’t think anything is NOT worth it. He is so worth it, and so am I and so is love. Is it risky? HELL YES! But love is always a risk isn’t it? Will I end up hurt and broken? Maybe, but then again maybe not. In the end right now we are journeying together and it is good. We are learning to hold one another as a gift as opposed to a clingy right. Right now I have this gift and it is wonderful and I treasure it greatly. Will I always have this gift? I don’t know. Matt could get hit by a bus and die tomorrow, NOTHING is EVER final. So you learn to hold one-another with an open hand. Being grateful for the time you have together. Will we be together always? Who knows. That is not an absolute I can speak in. Nor am I worried about it. But for now we journey in love. Love of ourselves, of each other and of this broken world. It is finite yes, but it is the best we can do right now.

Travel. Just so everyone knows I did not really plan for this year to be a year of travel. It just sort of fell into my lap this way. The way events fell into place, and fell out of place. How I was seemingly kicked out of Winnipeg by the universe :P. Then how Nanaimo did not quite feel like home, and the jobs I looked for fell through. How Matt had enough money to buy me a plane ticket, how I had been given gold by Alexandra. All of these events suddenly turned into a year of adventure and seemingly thrown back into living overseas. Something I was unsure if I would get the opportunity to do again. Sometimes I look around and wonder how I got to be here and what exactly I am suppose to be doing here. I am learning to listen. To listen to my inner-voice that seems to guide me, learning to become aware of my surroundings the symbols and the people. And above all, trying to learn to find an inner peace in the midst of such poverty and chaos. Sometimes I look at the heavens and simply shrug? Live life with an open heart and open arms. You never know what the universe will throw at you. Someone once told me from the Tao that “the universe unfolds as it should”. I don’t think this means we are simply passive. But it means that some things and the way they unfolded can not be explained. Maybe I am o.k. with this in my inner being, but for many on lookers it looks rash and indecisive. I am o.k. with that, this is why I am blogging to maybe give you a better look into my inner world .

Journey towards the sacred. Well, lets face it I will do this wherever I am the location does not matter. What does matter is the condition of my heart. So that is what I am working on. It just so happens that I am surrounded by many different religions while living in Calcutta. There is a mosque just down the street from our hostel that lets out the call to prayer five times a day. There is the Catholic influence and the Hindu influence. So as I am surrounded by so many different methods of journeying towards the sacred, and yet I am still finding my own way. My journey is very different than Matt’s and I actually think it is healthy that we keep these things separate. We share, but we are both becoming more o.k. with the fact that we will have many differences and both of us continually have to work on allowing the other person to exist in our presence with those differences. But those who are scared for my journey or for Matt’s I would encourage to pursue those insecurities in their own journeys. Why so threatened? Is embracing diversity not the answer to all the worlds issues? Because forcing one another to see it our way seemingly only ends in bomb’s, wars, and famines. Until our world can learn to embrace each others diversity we will always be pegged against each other. Eventually if people are going to be fed or looked after our differences need to be put aside and we need to learn to work together. I definitely take my journey towards the sacred very seriously as does Matt (just read his blog if you doubt this). So onlookers, be relaxed because “those who seek the truth when they seek it with all their heart shall find it”.

Learn from the world around me: Well that I also do wherever I am. But it just so happens that I am in a place of rich heritage. Mother Teresa and Ghandi both walked the streets of Calcutta. But it is not just he heritage that I have to learn from. It is also the here and now. What exactly I am still learning will definitely come in future blogs as I am still processing all of this.

I hope this gives some of you a clearer picture of my motivations.